Stopping Destructive Communication

Excerpt from Relationship Tools for Positive Change                                   Page | 1 | 2| 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
by John Grey, Ph.D.

(Full text available here)

Intention of Saying "Time Out!"

Saying "Time Out!" is the same as saying:

	"I'm not resourceful enough right now to hear you and integrate what you are saying. I'd like to return to this topic later. If we continue discussing it now, I am afraid we will only end up in the Hole." "I would like some time out now in order to center myself. Then I would like to follow up and return to this topic in a couple of hours... when I will be able to better hear and respond to what you are saying." "I want to reach a positive result around this topic... Is it okay with you if we continue this in two hours?"

You may need more time before getting back to discuss the topic. Maybe you'll need to take a break... be alone and center yourself. At other times, you may only need to change the topic of conversation or be silent for a few minutes.

The important thing is to stop moving toward the Hole.

Saying "Time Out!" is like putting a stop sign in front of the Hole. It says, "Wake up! We are about to go into the Hole if we keep going in the same direction."

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