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Beyond the Honeymoon
The Downward Spiral
The Vicious Circle can quickly turn into a Downward Spiral, and it leads to the "Hole." As this happens, there are a number of things that couples say or do.
You may hear one person blaming the other for causing the situation. Like, "You make me angry!"
You may hear name calling. One person calls the other "insensitive" or "selfish" or some other negative label.
There are classic red-flag words... "always," "never," "should," "right" and "wrong"... words that reveal that the mind is narrowing or getting lost in judgments.
Behind such words, the emotional arena has collapsed into a basic reaction of "fight or flight." There may be anger or pursuit, distancing or retreat. Depending upon the couple, things can get explosive... or stone cold.
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