Ph.D. is a relationship coach, workshop leader, and author. He received
a Doctorate in Psychology in 1975 from Stanford University, where he taught
psychology and codirected a National Science Foundation sponsored research
center. His research papers in psychobiology have been published in
major scientific and professional journals, and are widely quoted in college textbooks. He has extensive training
in cognitive and behavioral psychology, aimed at short term, goal-directed coaching to achieve specific practical results. For over a decade, he studied the psychology of personality structure with Helen Palmer, prominent teacher of the Enneagram system, focusing on how to resolve relationship distress caused by differences in personality styles. John is broadly trained in somatic psychology, trauma resolution, and Somatic Experiencing, the work of Peter Levine. He also has immersed himself into the study of attachment psychology and brain science, with the goal to develop tools to help adults overcome reactive dynamics and insecure patterns in order to form a secure, happy, intimate bond. In pursuit of this, he received years of training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT, the work of Sue Johnson, and in a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, the work of Stan Tatkin.
John has been in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area since 1980. Over the past three decades, he has also presented workshops in communication techniques and relationship skills at places like the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, the University of California Berkeley, Stanford University, the Scripps Institute in La Jolla, and at venues throughout the Bay Area. He has given numerous professional training programs for counselors, therapists, coaches, and other helping professionals on how to effectively help clients improve their relationships and achieve personal growth. He was on Dr. John Gray's (author of the bestselling Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus) referral list of couples counselors, and he worked with John Grinder, teacher of Tony Robbins and the developer of Neurolinguistic Programming, or NLP. Additionally, John has authored multiple relationship self-help books and created an interactive relationship self-help system, which can be explored on this website. He is currently writing a new book that integrates neurobiology and attachment theory in a way that helps couples engage in practices to build secure partnership and share in authentic, fulfilling intimacy.
Read more details about John's background...
from Past Clients
I just wanted to send
you a card to say hello and to let you know that we are thinking
It's been a couple
of years since we spent time with you as our relationship
coach. I want to take a moment to thank you so much
for all your support and guidance.
Josh and I are doing
so well in our marriage with all the core foundational work
we did with you. We are now able to work so well together.
Our relationship has been brought up to a whole new level.
It truly is amazing
to see how much we have both changed and how we have moved
beyond our old patterns. Now there is so much more appreciation
and happiness. I feel a deep sense of peace, contentment and
deep love in my life in my marriage and family.
I never in my wildest
dreams believed that I could be capable of such feelings
especially from where we started. But here they are, gifts
I treasure everyday. Thank you so much for helping us get
Laura and Josh Woodlander
from More Clients
"You saved our relationship.
We really couldn't have done it without you. We were going down into a deep hole. We were stuck and could not have come through it without
your help. As far as we are concerned, you saved the relationship.
So much so, that we've been giving your book as wedding presents.
And if we could afford it, we would give your retreat to all couples
we love. Your work is invaluable."
O and S, Mediator / Lawyer
"Your coaching greatly improved our marriage.
We were anxious when we got there. But we quickly became comfortable
in your presence. You showed us how to resolve issues which had
been threatening our stability as a couple. You taught us tools we continue to use over the year since our retreat with you.
This has helped us increase happiness, and kept us from falling back into old traps. We are very grateful."
A and C, Construction Engineer / Educator
"Thank you so much for giving us so many tools to improve our relationship.
When we came to you we were in a stalemate. It seemed that there
was no way to communicate. We got preoccupied by being busy and
we didn't even make time to try anymore. With
your coaching help, we did not only learn to open up communication again. We found
ourselves sharing a whole new honeymoon all over again!"
J and V, Medical Administrator / Doctor
"I dont know how to begin
to thank you for all you did for my partner and me and our relationship.
We came to you seeking help and understanding, and what we left
with was far beyond our highest expectations. You possess exceptionally unique skills for moving people through difficult
and sensitive topics and situations with both competence and
empathy, yet with strength and conviction."
Diane L., Psychologist and Corporate Trainer
"We did not know what to expect, whether your coaching would be ineffective like counseling had
been, or overbearing like on TV talk shows. What we found was compassionate,
authentic and supportive, a coach that could mentor us in new tools
and show us ways out of the box we were stuck in. It was like a visit with the wise friend we always wish we had, who could
help us through our rough spots back to the love we originally shared."
D and M, Executive / Nurse
"We were stuck in a place where we
fought over stupid things. I felt so resentful that intimacy had
long ago stopped. We could be civil, but we felt the happiness we
used to have was lost. Your coaching helped us move through some
big blocks, understand new things, and heal issues we couldn't talk about. I discovered things about him I didn't know even after a decade of marriage! Deep, wonderful things. It's like I
found the great guy I originally met, only more so."
L and R, Mother / Hall of Fame Athlete
"Your coaching opened doors for us to
renew the spark. We had grown complacent. We are now growing more
happy and passionate with each day. The same outside stresses are
still there in our lives, children and work. But the tools you gave
us help us to check in with each other on a daily basis, in ways
that open our hearts to each other and refresh our love for each
other. Thank you so much for this gift!"
J and R, Architect / Consultant