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Relationship Counseling

       
 
     
 

    For over 25 years John Grey, Ph.D. has provided effective, practical counseling to help couples succeed in having healthy, joyful, rewarding relationships. You, too, can have a great relationship.

    John can help you get clear insights and give you new tools and strategies to make positive changes — even if you are now in a rough spot, or suffering from problems.

    John offers a unique and powerful solutions-based approach in his work with you. He helps you acquire the tools you need to get the results you want. Get counseling in person — or by phone.

"Our relationship has been brought up to a whole new level... so much
more appreciation and happiness." — from past clients
  (read more)

    What Relationship Counseling Offers

    If you don't have the relationship of your dreams, things can change — and you can do something about it. The only question is what to do. That's where receiving some relationship counseling with John can help you.

    John will offer you a more effective perspective and new positive options. His counseling provides you with powerful strategies and tools for overcoming challenges.

    It is a fact in today's society that most of us enter adult relationships without having the right tools to succeed. This explains why our rate of divorce is high and most couples end up being dissatisfied in some way.

 
 
CONTACT US TO
GET COUNSELING
Sessions by Phone or Skype
 
Contact Us
 
Click the button above to
inquire about or schedule
a counseling appointment
 
 

    Learning good relationship skills is not a part of our general education. Problems in creating or maintaining a satisfying relationship tell us we need to learn these essential skills now.

    Relationship counseling provides you with the key tools and strategies to succeed. By getting counseling you will not only find help to resolve your issues — you will learn to master vital tools you'll use for the rest of your life.

 

    Experienced Counseling Does Help

 
New Vision — John provides an outside, objective set of eyes, experienced in seeing the underlying patterns in relationships. He can help you see what is at the root of your issues — and how to shift things to a positive direction.
   
New Tools and Strategies — In over 25 years of counseling, John found what works — and what doesn't — to succeed. He provides you proven, effective tools and strategies to work through obstacles and have a great relationship that gets better with time.
   
New Results — John's approach is goal-directed. He coaches you to make practical improvements and get tangible results — where you make positive changes that will get you the increased joy and happiness you truly want to share with your partner.
   

    The good news is that you can learn new tools for success. You can learn key strategies for creating and maintaining a great relationship, one that stays strong, even in the face of challenges.

    With the help of an experienced guide — and with the right tools — you can overcome obstacles and create a joyful, rewarding partnership.

    John's lifework is to help people succeed in building great relationships. He would be delighted to help you to learn new, powerful and effective tools to share the kind of love you really want to experience with a life partner.

    Appointments by Phone or Skype

    Sessions are 60 minutes. Extended sessions longer than one hour are also available by phone or Skype. Sessions are appropriate for couples or individuals. Contact us about setting up an appointment by clicking the button below.

Contact Us

    Read the feeback from our clients.
    Read our reviews by experts in the field of relationship.

 
  FREQUENTLY
ASKED QUESTIONS
 
  Costs and Location  
  How does counseling work?  
  John's approach is results-
oriented... (read more)
 
  Extended Length Sessions  
  A more effective format than
hour-long sessions... (read more)
 
  What beliefs are involved?  
  Couples need an education
in new tools... (read more)
 
  What results can you get?  
  Learn tools to have a great
relationship... (read more)
 
  If one partner refuses help?  
  Change your part of the dance
and your partner... (read more)
 
  What if you're single?  
  Learn how to find and build a
great relationship... (read more)
 
  Reviews by Experts  
  "Powerful tools to expand joy
and happiness..." (read more)
 
  Feedback from Clients  
  You helped us save our
relationship... (read more)
 
 
     

    Get Counseling Sessions in Person

    John strongly recommends extended length sessions for in person work. After a decade of offering both hour long sessions and a more intensive couples retreat format, it has become clear that the typical hour session length is partly why traditional couples therapy has been found so ineffective. (read more)

    If you are seeking in person couples coaching, marriage coaching or relationship coaching, it is advantageous to consider the depth of results that comes from sessions that last longer than the traditional hour length.

    Extended Length Sessions are often asked for by people who live in or will visit the San Francisco Bay Area, including the East Bay, Oakland, Berkeley, the South Bay, Palo Alto, and Santa Cruz, Marin County, Napa County, Sonoma County or Mendocino County. Couples counseling, marriage counseling and relationship counseling sessions take place in the town of Sebastopol — a short drive from most areas in Sonoma County, Napa County and Marin County, the towns of Santa Rosa, Sonoma, Healdsburg, Petaluma, Novato, San Rafael, Mill Valley and Windsor.

 
 
COUPLES RETREAT
 
An intensive program that will
transform your relationship
 
 
"We came for help — and what
we got was far beyond our
highest expectations.
"
 
Diane R. Ludgate, Ph.D.,
Psychologist and Trainer
 
     

    Contact us for more information about in person sessions.

   
 

About Your Coach

     
   
     

    John Grey, Ph.D. is a relationship coach, workshop leader, and author. He received a Doctorate in Psychology in 1975 from Stanford University, where he taught psychology and codirected a National Science Foundation sponsored research center. His research papers in psychobiology have been published in major scientific and professional journals, and are widely quoted in college textbooks. He has extensive training in cognitive and behavioral psychology, aimed at short term, goal-directed coaching to achieve specific practical results. For over a decade, he studied the psychology of personality structure with Helen Palmer, prominent teacher of the Enneagram system, focusing on how to resolve relationship distress caused by differences in personality styles. John is broadly trained in somatic psychology, trauma resolution, and Somatic Experiencing, the work of Peter Levine. He also has immersed himself into the study of attachment psychology and brain science, with the goal to develop tools to help adults overcome reactive dynamics and insecure patterns in order to form a secure, happy, intimate bond. In pursuit of this, he received years of training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT, the work of Sue Johnson, and in a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, the work of Stan Tatkin.

    John has been in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area since 1980. Over the past three decades, he has also presented workshops in communication techniques and relationship skills at places like the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, the University of California Berkeley, Stanford University, the Scripps Institute in La Jolla, and at venues throughout the Bay Area. He has given numerous professional training programs for counselors, therapists, coaches, and other helping professionals on how to effectively help clients improve their relationships and achieve personal growth. He was on Dr. John Gray's (author of the bestselling Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus) referral list of couples counselors, and he worked with John Grinder, teacher of Tony Robbins and the developer of Neurolinguistic Programming, or NLP. Additionally, John has authored multiple relationship self-help books and created an interactive relationship self-help system, which can be explored on this website. He is currently writing a new book that integrates neurobiology and attachment theory in a way that helps couples engage in practices to build secure partnership and share in authentic, fulfilling intimacy.

    Read more details about John's background...

Letter from Past Clients

   
 
     
 

    Dear John,

    I just wanted to send you a card to say hello and to let you know that we are thinking of you.

    It's been a couple of years since we spent time with you as our relationship coach. I want to take a moment to thank you so much for all your support and guidance.

    Josh and I are doing so well in our marriage with all the core foundational work we did with you. We are now able to work so well together. Our relationship has been brought up to a whole new level.

    It truly is amazing to see how much we have both changed and how we have moved beyond our old patterns. Now there is so much more appreciation and happiness. I feel a deep sense of peace, contentment and deep love in my life — in my marriage and family.

    I never in my wildest dreams believed that I could be capable of such feelings — especially from where we started. But here they are, gifts I treasure everyday. Thank you so much for helping us get here.

    With Love,
    Laura and Josh Woodlander

 
     

Feedback from More Clients

    "You saved our relationship. We really couldn't have done it without you. We were going down into a deep hole. We were stuck and could not have come through it without your help. As far as we are concerned, you saved the relationship. So much so, that we've been giving your book as wedding presents. And if we could afford it, we would give your retreat to all couples we love. Your work is invaluable."
O and S, Mediator / Lawyer

    "Your coaching greatly improved our marriage. We were anxious when we got there. But we quickly became comfortable in your presence. You showed us how to resolve issues which had been threatening our stability as a couple. You taught us tools we continue to use over the year since our retreat with you. This has helped us increase happiness, and kept us from falling back into old traps. We are very grateful."
A and C, Construction Engineer / Educator

    "Thank you so much for giving us so many tools to improve our relationship. When we came to you we were in a stalemate. It seemed that there was no way to communicate. We got preoccupied by being busy and we didn't even make time to try anymore. With your coaching help, we did not only learn to open up communication again. We found ourselves sharing a whole new honeymoon all over again!"
J and V, Medical Administrator / Doctor

    "I don’t know how to begin to thank you for all you did for my partner and me and our relationship. We came to you seeking help and understanding, and what we left with was far beyond our highest expectations. You possess exceptionally unique skills for moving people through difficult and sensitive topics and situations with both competence and empathy, yet with strength and conviction."
Diane L., Psychologist and Corporate Trainer

    "We did not know what to expect, whether your coaching would be ineffective like counseling had been, or overbearing like on TV talk shows. What we found was compassionate, authentic and supportive, a coach that could mentor us in new tools and show us ways out of the box we were stuck in. It was like a visit with the wise friend we always wish we had, who could help us through our rough spots back to the love we originally shared."
D and M, Executive / Nurse

    "We were stuck in a place where we fought over stupid things. I felt so resentful that intimacy had long ago stopped. We could be civil, but we felt the happiness we used to have was lost. Your coaching helped us move through some big blocks, understand new things, and heal issues we couldn't talk about. I discovered things about him I didn't know even after a decade of marriage! Deep, wonderful things. It's like I found the great guy I originally met, only more so."
L and R, Mother / Hall of Fame Athlete

    "Your coaching opened doors for us to renew the spark. We had grown complacent. We are now growing more happy and passionate with each day. The same outside stresses are still there in our lives, children and work. But the tools you gave us help us to check in with each other on a daily basis, in ways that open our hearts to each other and refresh our love for each other. Thank you so much for this gift!"
J and R, Architect / Consultant

 
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Read More — Frequently Asked Questions
   Costs and Location
   Extended Length Sessions
   How does coaching work?
   What beliefs are involved?
   What results can you get?
   What if your partner refuses to get help?
   What if you're single?
   Reviews by Experts
   Feedback from Clients

 
 
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