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Extended Sessions

       
 
     
 

    John offers extended length session formats that are more powerful and effective than the typical once-per-week, hour-long session. Part of the reason traditional therapy is ineffective is session length.

    Extended length sessions offer you an intensive context for going deeper — and getting much more profoundly meaningful results. This way of working resemble John's couples retreat format, which he has developed over the last two decades.

    John offers a powerful solutions-based approach. He helps you get the tools you need to get the results you want. Extended sessions are optimal for working in person — and even by phone.

"Our relationship has been brought up to a whole new level... so much
more appreciation and happiness." — from past clients
  (read more)

    About Extended Sessions

    Extended sessions are generally done in person for couples who live in, or who are visiting, the San Francisco Bay Area. We meet in the North Bay in the town of Sebastopol, located in Sonoma County.

    Extended sessions are either half-day sessions or full-day sessions. These offer an intensive, open-ended format to explore and work through issues. It also provides what hourly sessions never get around to doing — a way to integrate education in new tools into the work.

    You get a series of extended sessions spread over several weeks or months. Three full-day sessions or six half-day extended sessions spread over time will give you the same effect as our intensive 3-day retreat format.

 
 
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    A half-day session is a bit over 3 hours in length. The cost is $650. A full-day session combines two half-day sessions, separated by a lunch break. A first session would ideally be a full-day in length, as it affords enough time to provide the best initial positive impact.

    John has worked with couples in a wide variety of formats for more than two decades. He has in-depth experience with the traditional one-hour-per-week session format, as well as a series of non-traditional formats he innovated, such as his intensive retreats that span from two to four days in length.

    Comparing the effectiveness of all these approaches, he has found the traditional format to be inadequate to get deep, lasting results that extended length sessions provide. He still offers hour-long phone coaching sessions for couples who live elsewhere, which often are single session consultations. However, his in-person work is currently only available in extended session format.

 

    Experienced Coaching Does Help

 
New Vision — John provides an outside, objective set of eyes, experienced in seeing the underlying patterns in relationships. He can help you see what is at the root of your issues — and how to shift things to a positive direction.
   
New Tools and Strategies — In over 25 years of coaching, John found what works — and what doesn't — to succeed. He provides you proven, effective tools and strategies to work through obstacles and have a great relationship that gets better with time.
   
New Results — John's approach is goal-directed. He coaches you to make practical improvements and get tangible results — where you make positive changes that will get you the increased joy and happiness you truly want to share with your partner.
   

    The good news is that you can learn new tools for success. You can learn key strategies for creating and maintaining a great relationship, one that stays strong, even in the face of challenges.

    With the help of an experienced guide — and with the right tools — you can overcome obstacles and create a joyful, rewarding partnership.

    John's lifework is to help people succeed in building great relationships. He would be delighted to help you to learn new, powerful and effective tools to share the kind of love you really want to experience with a life partner.

    Read the feeback from our clients.
    Read our reviews by experts in the field of relationship.

 
  FREQUENTLY
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  Costs and Location  
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  John's approach is results-
oriented... (read more)
 
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  Couples need education and
new tools... (read more)
 
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  Learn tools to have a great
relationship... (read more)
 
  If one partner refuses help?  
  Change your part of the dance
and your partner... (read more)
 
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  Learn how to find and build a
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  Reviews by Experts  
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  Feedback from Clients  
  You helped us save our
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    Click Here to Contact Us about Extended Sessions

 
     

    Getting Sessions in Person

    John strongly recommends extended length sessions for in person work. After a decade of offering both hour long sessions and a more intensive couples retreat format, it has become clear that the typical hour session length is partly why traditional couples therapy has been found so ineffective.

    If you are seeking in person couples coaching, marriage coaching or relationship coaching, it is advantageous to consider the depth of results that comes from sessions that last longer than the traditional hour length.

    Extended Length Sessions are often asked for by people who live in or will visit the San Francisco Bay Area, including the East Bay, Oakland, Berkeley, the South Bay, Palo Alto, and Santa Cruz, Marin County, Napa County, Sonoma County or Mendocino County. Couples counseling, marriage counseling and relationship counseling sessions take place in the town of Sebastopol — a short drive from most areas in Sonoma County, Napa County and Marin County, the towns of Santa Rosa, Sonoma, Healdsburg, Petaluma, Novato, San Rafael, Mill Valley and Windsor.

 
 
COUPLES RETREAT
 
An intensive program that will
transform your relationship
 
 
"We came for help — and what
we got was far beyond our
highest expectations.
"
 
Diane R. Ludgate, Ph.D.,
Psychologist and Trainer
 
     

    Contact us for more information about in person sessions.

   
 

About Your Coach

     
   
     

    John Grey, Ph.D. is a relationship coach, workshop leader, and author. He received a Doctorate in Psychology in 1975 from Stanford University, where he taught psychology and codirected a National Science Foundation sponsored research center. His research papers in psychobiology have been published in major scientific and professional journals, and are widely quoted in college textbooks. He has extensive training in cognitive and behavioral psychology, aimed at short term, goal-directed coaching to achieve specific practical results. For over a decade, he studied the psychology of personality structure with Helen Palmer, prominent teacher of the Enneagram system, focusing on how to resolve relationship distress caused by differences in personality styles. John is broadly trained in somatic psychology, trauma resolution, and Somatic Experiencing, the work of Peter Levine. He also has immersed himself into the study of attachment psychology and brain science, with the goal to develop tools to help adults overcome reactive dynamics and insecure patterns in order to form a secure, happy, intimate bond. In pursuit of this, he received years of training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT, the work of Sue Johnson, and in a Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, the work of Stan Tatkin.

    John has been in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area since 1980. Over the past three decades, he has also presented workshops in communication techniques and relationship skills at places like the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, the University of California Berkeley, Stanford University, the Scripps Institute in La Jolla, and at venues throughout the Bay Area. He has given numerous professional training programs for counselors, therapists, coaches, and other helping professionals on how to effectively help clients improve their relationships and achieve personal growth. He was on Dr. John Gray's (author of the bestselling Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus) referral list of couples counselors, and he worked with John Grinder, teacher of Tony Robbins and the developer of Neurolinguistic Programming, or NLP. Additionally, John has authored multiple relationship self-help books and created an interactive relationship self-help system, which can be explored on this website. He is currently writing a new book that integrates neurobiology and attachment theory in a way that helps couples engage in practices to build secure partnership and share in authentic, fulfilling intimacy.

    Read more details about John's background...

Letter from Past Clients

   
 
     
 

    Dear John,

    I just wanted to send you a card to say hello and to let you know that we are thinking of you.

    It's been a couple of years since we spent time with you as our relationship coach. I want to take a moment to thank you so much for all your support and guidance.

    Josh and I are doing so well in our marriage with all the core foundational work we did with you. We are now able to work so well together. Our relationship has been brought up to a whole new level.

    It truly is amazing to see how much we have both changed and how we have moved beyond our old patterns. Now there is so much more appreciation and happiness. I feel a deep sense of peace, contentment and deep love in my life — in my marriage and family.

    I never in my wildest dreams believed that I could be capable of such feelings — especially from where we started. But here they are, gifts I treasure everyday. Thank you so much for helping us get here.

    With Love,
    Laura and Josh Woodlander

 
     

Feedback from More Clients

    "You saved our relationship. We really couldn't have done it without you. We were going down into a deep hole. We were stuck and could not have come through it without your help. As far as we are concerned, you saved the relationship. So much so, that we've been giving your book as wedding presents. And if we could afford it, we would give your retreat to all couples we love. Your work is invaluable."
O and S, Mediator / Lawyer

    "Your coaching greatly improved our marriage. We were anxious when we got there. But we quickly became comfortable in your presence. You showed us how to resolve issues which had been threatening our stability as a couple. You taught us tools we continue to use over the year since our retreat with you. This has helped us increase happiness, and kept us from falling back into old traps. We are very grateful."
A and C, Construction Engineer / Educator

    "Thank you so much for giving us so many tools to improve our relationship. When we came to you we were in a stalemate. It seemed that there was no way to communicate. We got preoccupied by being busy and we didn't even make time to try anymore. With your coaching help, we did not only learn to open up communication again. We found ourselves sharing a whole new honeymoon all over again!"
J and V, Medical Administrator / Doctor

    "I don’t know how to begin to thank you for all you did for my partner and me and our relationship. We came to you seeking help and understanding, and what we left with was far beyond our highest expectations. You possess exceptionally unique skills for moving people through difficult and sensitive topics and situations with both competence and empathy, yet with strength and conviction."
Diane L., Psychologist and Corporate Trainer

    "We did not know what to expect, whether your coaching would be ineffective like counseling had been, or overbearing like on TV talk shows. What we found was compassionate, authentic and supportive, a coach that could mentor us in new tools and show us ways out of the box we were stuck in. It was like a visit with the wise friend we always wish we had, who could help us through our rough spots back to the love we originally shared."
D and M, Executive / Nurse

    "We were stuck in a place where we fought over stupid things. I felt so resentful that intimacy had long ago stopped. We could be civil, but we felt the happiness we used to have was lost. Your coaching helped us move through some big blocks, understand new things, and heal issues we couldn't talk about. I discovered things about him I didn't know even after a decade of marriage! Deep, wonderful things. It's like I found the great guy I originally met, only more so."
L and R, Mother / Hall of Fame Athlete

    "Your coaching opened doors for us to renew the spark. We had grown complacent. We are now growing more happy and passionate with each day. The same outside stresses are still there in our lives, children and work. But the tools you gave us help us to check in with each other on a daily basis, in ways that open our hearts to each other and refresh our love for each other. Thank you so much for this gift!"
J and R, Architect / Consultant

 
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Read More — Frequently Asked Questions
   Costs and Location
   Extended Length Sessions
   How does coaching work?
   What beliefs are involved?
   What results can you get?
   What if your partner refuses to get help?
   What if you're single?
   Reviews by Experts
   Feedback from Clients

 
 
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Click the button above to discuss extended sessions.
 
 
 
 
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