John Grey, Ph.D. is a relationship coach, workshop leader and self-help author. He is also a musician, composer and an inventor, having pioneered basic technology in digital music.

    John grew up in Los Angeles and went to UCLA, where he got a B.A. in Psychology. He received his Doctorate in Psychology in 1975 from Stanford University, where he taught psychology and also cofounded and codirected a prominent international research center. John's research was supported by major grants from the National Science Foundation Department of Psychobiology. His work has been published in scientific and professional journals, and it is quoted in dozens of university textbooks and foundational research in his field of psychology.

    John's background includes extensive studies in neurobiology, behavioral and cognitive psychology, pscyholinguistics, somatic pschology, developmental and attachment psychology, transpersonal psychology, and spiritual practices. He has been formally trained in Psychosynthesis, Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), Gestalt psychology, Cognitive Therapy, Ericksonian hypnosis, the Enneagram, Somatic Experiencing, and Buddhist psychology.

    In 1980 John started a private practice. At this time, he also began designing and presenting workshops in communication and personal growth at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, and the University of California at Berkeley. He worked with (Tony Robbins' teacher) John Grinder, Ph.D., the developer of NLP. He designed and presented numerous communication trainings for medical professionals and psychotherapists, including month-long NLP Practitioner trainings and NLP Master level trainings. He also designed and presented personal transformation workshops, ranging from weekend intensives to week-long residential seminars at places like Esalen Institute.

    In 1991 John started training extensively to work with couples. He studied the work of Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, John Welwood, David Schnarch, and Harville Hendrix. More recently, he has studied the work of Peter Levine and Somatic Experiencing. As a research psychologist, John also closely follows the latest scientific findings of relationship psychologist John Gottman, as well as neurobiologists and attachment theorists Daniel Siegal and Allan Schore. He also follows the work of research pscyhologists who study relationship satisfaction and the interaction strategies and beliefs people have in love.

    John has authored two self-help books on the topic of relationship: The Joy of Relationship Cards and Relationship Tools for Positive Change. He also created the online self-help tool the Relationship Oracle (also known as Soulmate Oracle). John was on the bestselling author John Gray's (Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus) referral list of counselors and was a consultant on the development of one of his self-help products.

    In addition to working in person with individuals and couples, John conducts coaching by phone throughout the country. He created this site to present these offerings, along with online self-help tools.

    John has a strong background in digital technology as an inventor, and he has cofounded a number of tech startups in Silicon Valley. Additionally, he is a composer and performer, having published a CD of solo piano music, The Heart Also Opens, and he has been in numerous performing ensembles, including the GoodSound Band with Loren Rush.

Educational Data

B.A., Psychology, UCLA, 1970
Ph.D., Psychology, Stanford University, 1975

Specialities in Cognition, Perception, Psycholinguistics and Psychology of Music.
Taught at Stanford University in Depts of Psychology, Computer Science and Music.

Postgraduate Training Programs:
    Psychosynthesis at the SF Institute with Phil Brooks, Ph.D. and Tom Yoemans, Ph.D.
    Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) with NLP founders John Grinder, Ph.D. and Richard Bandler
    Ericksonian Hypnotherapy with Steve Gilligan, Ph.D. and Paul Carter
    Enneagram with Helen Palmer, Ph.D., David Daniels, M.D. and Terry Saracino
    Somatic Experiencing with Peter Levine, Ariel Giarretto, Steve Hoskinson

Influential Teachers and Thinkers: John Welwood, Gay and Kathyln Hendricks, Pema Chodron, Charles and Carolyn Muir, John Gray, Gangagi, Lama Kunga, Wayan Loceng, Loren Rush, David Schnarch, John Gottman, Roger Shepard, Stephen Kosslyn, Jay Dowling, Herb Clark, Earl Schubert, Andy Moorer, Ray Castellino, Thich Nhat Hanh, Eckhart Tolle.

Work Experience

1966-1974: John taught piano to supplement his income during college. This turned out to be foundational experience in how to teach people to acquire new skills, based on weekly sessions combined with motivated practice for the duration of the week. Good counseling and coaching involves the same focus on how to actually change behaviors and improve ones skills.

1974-1980: John cofounded an internationally prominent research center at Stanford University, with John Chowning, Andy Moorer and Loren Rush. He did psychological research, cross-cultural anthropological studies in Indonesia, team building, graduate student research and dissertation direction, training program development, fundraising, major grant funding through National Science Foundation, research reports, published major research papers, public presentations.

1980-1988: John co-owned a communication skills training organization with Eli Jaxon-Bear and started his private practice in the Bay Area. He did individual coaching, counseling, group professional and personal training, workshops, public presentations, marketing, staff management. He designed and presented a wide range of professional and personal level workshops and training programs. Included were training programs at the Esalen Institute, University of California, and Stanford Business School. He also presented a training program in creative thinking to Arthur Andersen. One of the more accomplished "students" in John's trainings was his partner Eli's wife, Gangaji, a spiritual leader with whom John later studied. Having developed an integrated approach to NLP and transpersonal psychology, he successfully brought NLP into Esalen for both public workshops and staff training programs. His success at Esalen exemplifies John's ability to assimilate divergent models and design training modules that appeal to professionals with particular attitudes as well as the general public. He also created a NLP training segment as a part of the Hellerwork program for Joseph Heller. He worked for Leslie Bandler, a cofounder of NLP and he was a colleague of John Grinder, Ph.D., the primary founder of NLP, working in Grinder's training programs, developing training models and materials with him, and structuring a cross-cultural modeling seminar in Indonesia for Grinder's trainers.

1988-1991: Cofounded a Silicon Valley tech startup with Hartmut Esslinger (a leading industrial designer), Jaron Lanier (inventor of virtual reality) and Andy Hertzfeld (cocreator of Apple's Macintosh). He did product specification and development, team recruitment, teambuilding, staff management, team coordination, software and hardware design, presentations and fundraising. Also cofounded GoodSound, a company for the development and dissemination of digital audio technology for the advanced spatialization of sound in multichannel virtual acoustic environments. This technology also reconstitutes the audio quality for compressed sound, as with MP3 downloads.

1991-present: Private practice in counseling and coaching, with a specialization in relationship as well as in somatic psychology. John was on John Gray's (author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus) referral list of counselors for the San Francisco Bay Area. He frequently presented public talks based on his relationship material, including lectures, radio and television interviews. He conducted workshops at Scripps Medical Center in La Jolla on integration of body and mind, and how relationship health contributes to physical health. He produced communication skills trainings for psychotherapists and medical professionals. And he designed and presented relationship skills seminars at University of California and Stanford University. John developed the Soulmate Oracle - an online self-help tool for relationship licensed to ivillage.com and astrology.com, and also available on the website here.

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