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For over 25 years, John Grey, Ph.D. has
been helping couples succeed in having happy, healthy and rewarding
relationships. He offers uniquely powerful relationship retreats in Sonoma County, California.
The relationship retreats offer a fast track to positive change —
an intensive, supportive place to achieve profound results.
In a concentrated program, your relationship will be
transformed. And you will take home key tools to keep your relationship
growing on a positive track. |
"I don’t know how to begin
to thank you for all you did for my partner
and me, and our relationship..." — from past clients (read
more)
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Transforming Your Relationship
The relationship retreat is unique in its ability
to affect deep, personally meaningful change. It's not like a workshop.
It is not a one-size-fits-all program. Nor is it a religion program.
Your retreat will be tailored to meet your specific goals, needs and circumstances. The tools you will gain, and the work you will accomplish, is personalized for you in a way that is highly supportive. John draws from a broad range of strategies, tools, and interventions to assist you to get the positive changes you want.
After two days of intensive work, couples report that they return home with renewed spirits — having vital new tools and strategies to keep building on positive changes they make. Their relationships grow in visible ways: marriages saved, trust built, commitments increased. |
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The relationship retreats are located in a charming
small town in rural Sonoma County, California near the Pacific ocean,
redwood forests, and wine country. Photos on this page show some of the natural beauty of our area. Located about an hour north of San Francisco, the retreat takes place in a warm, comfortable, peaceful and healing environment.
The Retreat + Your Coach
A Powerful Combination for Change
Many couples have said they got more in this two day retreat than in months or even years of regular counseling!
What makes this couples retreat so unique and powerful?
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The Dedicated Timespan —
Time spent away from daily stress, to focus on you and your relationship.
This committed timespan allows clarity and change to emerge more
strongly and deeply than in week-to-week counseling sessions. This
intensive approach supports you to get rapid and profound results. |
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Get Tools, Not Just Talk —
Couples often report how traditional talk therapy did not help. At the retreat they realize they didn't need that type of talk — they needed new tools. Weekly sessions typically overlook or cannot provide these. But at the retreat, the emphasis is to learn a powerful assortment of tools to make positive changes. To get results-oriented, versatile, effective coaching. And to take home new tools to stay on a positive track. |
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A Different Approach —
Having trained hundreds of therapists in advanced communication tools, John knows how normal therapy is often ineffective in helping couples. The retreat offers you a major qualitative difference in ways to resolve issues in a productive way. The range and effectiveness of the tools you will get is vastly broader than the standard counseling fare. |
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Practical Results, Not Just Theory — Before becoming a relationship coach, John was a research psychologist at Stanford University.
He knows the difference between practical results vs. someone's personal theory. What you get is consistent with current scientific findings in psychology and neurobiology. What you learn has been informed by contemporary research in relationship satisfaction and studies of the factors underlying relationship deterioration. |
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A Highly Effective Format — Choose from two uniquely powerful formats for your retreat. One is the Private Retreat for one couple. This offers a rare level of personal coaching
and a profound depth of impact to make meaningful changes in a relationship. Available throughout the year, it
can be set up on short notice to meet your needs. The other retreat format is the Shared Group Retreat, usually consisting of three couples. This small group size enables far more personal attention than the typical workshop type group retreat. (read more)
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John works in a highly supportive way, respecting and responding to your individual needs. This enables you to make rapid progress in achieving your goals.
Standardized programs and typical group retreats are not able respond to the different styles of each individual participant. They can only give you a vanilla one-size-fits-all approach.
But in reality, each of us is different, and each couple is different. Your retreat will be customized to match your needs and your particular styles — so you can get deep, personally meaningful help. |
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Over a 25-year span of helping couples, John has mastered a broad repertoire of coaching and counseling techniques, which allows him to flexibly address your specific wants and needs. He has learned how to understand and effectively work with very different personality types — and to appreciate how each couple is a unique combination of two personal styles.
John has trained therapists in effective communication and change techniques that address the needs of each individual, including NeuroLinguistic Programming (NLP). As a workshop leader, he has presented relationship skills programs at the University of California, Stanford University, Scripps Medical Center and the Esalen Institute in Big Sur. |
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Being a former Stanford research psychologist, he keeps abreast of and integrates current studies on relationship
satisfaction into his work with couples.
He also follows the latest research in brain science, neurobiology, and attachment styles — fields that are having increasing relevance in understanding emotion and in knowing the true underlying factors in relationship dynamics and what causes success or failure.
And, he has authored several relationship
books, including an interactive self-help system. Please explore these materials on this website. |
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In this retreat, you know that you are
getting effective coaching. John has a reputation for his versatility,
skill and effectiveness. The retreats are even attended by psychologists and other helping professionals, who come for help in their personal relationships.
The retreat format, combined with John's broad experience and background, gives you a uniquely powerful opportunity to make a
fundamental breakthrough in your relationship. |
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| Types of Couples that Benefit from a Retreat |
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What kinds of couples come to the retreat? Do you have to be married? What if one partner has a foot out the door? What if attempts at regular counseling gave poor results?
The retreat will benefit couples in all stages of relating — unmarried or married. Some couples discover their next step of commitment. Others rediscover the vitality of connecting, even after decades of marriage. And couples frequently comment how this work is so much more valuable and effective than the traditional therapy they tried.
Contact
Us for More Information
We would like to talk to you before
deciding to do a retreat. This intensive format works for most people,
but it's not the best fit for everyone. We'd like to discuss it
with you first, by email or phone.
Extended
Sessions
For some couples, an alternative to a retreat is to
schedule one or more extended sessions. These can offer
an intensity of work similar to that in retreats, but on a schedule and timing to meet any particular needs.
Read More Details on the Retreat
Get much more information you want to know about what a retreat is like, costs, scheduling, and so forth. And see more beautiful local scenes of Sonoma County. |
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About
Your Coach
John Grey,
Ph.D. is a relationship coach, workshop leader and author. He received
his Doctorate in Psychology in 1975 from Stanford, where he taught
and codirected a National Science Foundation sponsored research
center. His research papers in psychology have been published in
major scientific and professional journals, and are widely quoted in college textbooks. He has extensive training
in cognitive and behavioral psychologies aimed at short term treatment
and goal-directed coaching that achieves specific results. He has broad training in psychology of personality structure and the Enneagram (over a decade of training with Helen Palmer), and how to overcome relationship issues caused by differences in personal styles. He is also trained in somatic psychology, trauma resolution and Somatic Experiencing (the work of Peter Levine, Ph.D.).
John has been in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area since 1980. He has presented workshops in communication and relationship skills at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, the University of California Berkeley, Stanford University, and the Scripps Institute in La Jolla. He worked with John Grinder, Ph.D., teacher of Tony Robbins and the key developer of Neurolinguistic Programming, or NLP. He has given professional trainings for therapists and medical personnel in communication techniques and advanced tools for improving relationships and personal growth. He was on Dr. John Gray's (author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus) referral list of counselors. His love and relationship self-help books have been used by countless thousands of people world-wide, and can explored on this website.
Read more details about John's background...
Letter
from Past Clients
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I don’t know
how to begin to thank you for all you did for my partner and
me, and our relationship. We came to you seeking help and
understanding, and what we left with was far beyond our highest
expectations. You possess exceptionally unique skills
for moving people through difficult and sensitive topics and
situations with both competence and empathy, yet with strength
and conviction. Your passion and love for your work emanates
through you.
The amount of work
and preparation you did on all sorts of levels was apparent.
I felt very confident that we were working with a consummate professional in the area of relationships and personal growth,
development, and healing.
I have been doing
a lot of reflecting and soul-searching since spending those
precious three days with you. I believe the greatest gift
I took away from it was a personal and spiritual wakeup call.
I was awakened to see who I am and what I need to do to grow
individually and through my relationship. I was awakened to
who my partner is and his needs. I'm able to appreciate and
listen to him in an entirely different ways. I now have new
tools for dealing with situations as they arise. I truly believe
that we’re becoming soulmates as a result of our time
and experience with you.
Words cannot express
my thanks and gratitude.
Sincerely,
Diane R. Ludgate, Ph.D. / Psychologist
and Corporate Trainer |
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Feedback
from More Couples
"You saved our relationship.
We really couldn't have done it without you. We were headed toward
a deep hole. We were stuck and could not have come through it without
your help. As far as we are concerned, you saved the relationship.
So much so, that we've been giving your book as wedding presents.
And if we could afford it, we would give your retreat to all couples
we love. Your work is invaluable."
— O and S, Mediator / Lawyer
"Your retreat greatly improved our marriage.
We were anxious when we got there. But we quickly became comfortable
in your presence. You showed us how to resolve issues which had
been threatening our stability as a couple. You taught us tools
we have continued to use over the year since our retreat with you.
This has helped us increase our happiness, and kept us from falling
back into old traps. We are very grateful."
— A and C, Construction Engineer / Educator
"Thank you so much for giving us so many tools to improve our relationship.
When we came to you we were in a stalemate. It seemed that there
was no way to communicate. We got preoccupied by being busy and
we didn't even make time to try anymore. After the weekend with
you, we did not only learn to open up communication again. We found
ourselves sharing a whole new honeymoon all over again!"
— J and V, Medical Administrator / Doctor
"We were stuck in a place where we
fought over stupid things. I felt so resentful that intimacy had
long ago stopped. We could be civil, but we felt the happiness we
used to have was lost. Your retreat helped us move through some
big blocks, understand new things, and heal the issues we couldn't
even talk about. I discovered things about him I didn't know even
after a decade of marriage! Deep, wonderful things. It's like I
found the great guy I originally met, only more so."
— L and R, Mother / Hall of Fame Athlete
"We did not know what to expect at
your retreat, whether it would be ineffective like counseling had
been, or overbearing like on TV talk shows. What we found was compassionate,
authentic and supportive, a coach that could mentor us in new tools
and show us ways out of the box we were stuck in. It was like a visit with the wise friend we always wish we had, who could
help us through our rough spots back to the love we originally shared."
— D and M, Executive / Nurse
"The retreat opened doors for us to
renew the spark. We had grown complacent. We are now growing more
happy and passionate with each day. The same outside stresses are
still there in our lives, children and work. But the tools you gave
us help us to check in with each other on a daily basis, in ways
that open our hearts to each other and refresh our love for each
other. Thank you so much for this gift!"
— J and R, Architect / Consultant
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