Home Tools for Positive Change Couples Retreat Oracle Advice Blog Books About Us Contact Us

About Our Retreats


    Costs, Location and Schedule

    Read below for costs, location and schedule of our intensive retreats. Following that, read our answers to these frequently asked questions:

     Calendar and next steps to book a retreat
     What kinds of couples is a retreat for?
     What results can you get?
     What's a retreat like?
     How's this different than traditional counseling?
     Are certain beliefs involved?
     Expert reviews and feedback from clients

"You saved our relationship. We were stuck and could not have come
through it without your help." — from past clients
  (read more)

    Location of Our Retreats

    The intensive retreats are offered throughout the year in the northern part of the San Francisco Bay Area in California — in Sonoma County, near the friendly small town of Sebastopol.

    Sonoma County is one of the premiere grape-growing areas in the world. The landscape here is a breathtaking patchwork of vineyards spread across gentle hills.

    Besides wine-tasting, there are plenty of fun things to see and do. The activities and sights will take you from redwood forests, to rivers, on out to the beaches and the Pacific Ocean.

    Add top quality restaurants, the charm of small towns set amidst wineries — and you may even feel like you're in Provence!

    Printable Version of Retreat Info
Contact Us
Click the button above to
inquire or ask questions
about a couples retreat

    We offer two types of retreats — a Private Retreat for just you and your partner — and a Group Retreat that you share with other couples. Read details on both immediately below.

   Next — Costs and Descriptions for our Private Retreat and Group Retreat.
   Then — Our Retreat Schedule Calendar — Next Steps to Book a Retreat.


    Private Retreat for Individual Couples

    You and your partner have a private retreat with John. Your retreat can be from 2 to 4 days in length. Most couples choose a 3-day long retreat. We highly recommended the 3-day length, as it allows sufficient time to work in depth with your issues. Your retreat can be over a weekend, or during the week. Days go from approximately 10:30 am to 5:30-6:30 pm, with a good lunch break. You also have homework, plus a few hours of preparatory work to do before you get to your retreat.

    Couples who have the need, time, resources or interest choose to take the longer retreats of three or four days in duration. The added length of time helps you achieve deeper results in acquiring new, positive communication tools. The added time can also help you more deeply heal old emotional wounds and shift into a place of trust and re-connection.


    The Private Retreat gives couples a rare level of personal coaching and offers you a profound depth of positive transformation and change.

    The private format is the retreat that is by far in the highest demand by couples who approach us, who want to take significant steps to make meaningful improvements in their relationships.

    You can arrange a Private Retreat on a weekend or during the week, whichever works best for your scheduling needs.


COST: The per-couple cost is $2900 for a 2-day Private Retreat, and $3900 for a 3-day length. Longer retreats cost an additional $1300 per day. Travel, meals and accommodations are not included.

ACCOMMODATIONS: We have an online list of recommended places to stay. There are some wonderful cottages and local inns to choose from.

DATES: Available throughout the year. Below, you will find our calendar of available dates.


SPECIAL LOCATIONS: Retreats are offered throughout the year in beautiful Sonoma County, California. All couples have found this be a very special place indeed. That said, if you might like to experience your Private Retreat in a romantic foreign location, let's talk. By special arrangement, I have presented retreats in Bali (my second home) and I would be open to discussing similar options that may interest you.


    Shared Small Group Retreat


    John also offers small Group Retreats. In this format, you and your partner join couples to share a retreat together. The group size is intentionally kept small enough to enable you to receive some personal coaching and individual focus. People often ask how the Private Retreat above compares with our Group Retreat, and what is more appropriate for them. The basic answer is that it all depends on your needs and goals. Even though John keeps the group size smaller than the typical group retreat program, and you will receive a certain amount of individual attention, private work offers the most appropriate level of help for couples suffering significant distress or stuckness.


    If you are in significant distress you will benefit more from in-depth, individually tailored coaching available only in a Private Retreat. That said, we have been told many times how our Group Retreat turned around marriages on the verge of divorce. Some couples who need more in-depth coaching arrange to stay after a group for a full-day private session with John, or come back at a later date for a Private Retreat.

WHEN: The next Group Retreat is being scheduled and you can be a part of this process. This retreat will start on Friday at noon and end on Sunday at 4:00 PM.


COST: The per-couple cost is $1800 for a Group Retreat. Travel, meals, accommodations not included.

WHERE: The retreat will take place at the Sonoma Coast Villa & Spa. The space is beautiful and the rooms are quite comfortable. There is a great conference room to hold our meetings. Among the amenities, there is also a fine restaurant and the owner is a great European trained chef. We recommend that it would be ideal to stay at this location. However, if you desire to stay elsewhere, just let us know.

CONTACT US: If you want to be a part of a Group Retreat, click here to contact us.


    Retreat Schedule Calendar

    - WHITE days are available for a Private Retreat
    - RED days are already taken
    - GREEN dates indicate an open Group Retreat
    - PINK dates are on hold but may become available (ask about these)

NOTE: Usually I am booked a few months in advance. I realize that seems far away, yet I have found most couples calm down and focus more on improving their relationship once they book a retreat. There are a variety of preparatory tasks to do before you get here, and many report doing these starts the process of improving things and makes them much more serious about their retreat. And I generally notice that couples who operate out of a sense of urgency don't get as much from a retreat as those who arrive more settled and committed to work.

  Available for a
Private Retreat
    Days that are
already booked
    Days that are
now on hold
    Available for a
Group Retreat
Sept 2015
29 30 1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31 1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Oct 2015
28 29 30 31 1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Nov 2015
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 23 24 25 26 26
Dec 2015
29 30 1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31 1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Jan 2016
26 27 28 29 30 1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31 1 2 3 4 5 6
Feb 2016
31 1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 1 1 1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
     Next Steps to Book a Private Retreat

     Contact Us About a Retreat. We are happy to talk with you about our retreats. They offer a powerful and effective format to transform your relationship.

Contact Us

     Read more information about our policies regarding scheduling, cancelling or rescheduling a retreat.

     Use the following links in the box below to sign up for a Private Retreat and to find a place to stay:

    To reserve a Private Retreat, you will put a deposit on it. To do this click the following:
  Put a Deposit on a Private Retreat — or Make a Final Payment
    In a Private Retreat we work together where you are staying. Here are great places to stay:
  Places to Stay — Maps to Our Location
  Back to Main Retreats Page See the Frequently Asked Questions

    What Kinds of Couples Is a Retreat for?

    I am often asked by couples if a retreat is appropriate for them. With certain exceptions, which I will list below, a retreat is an excellent fit and will meet the needs of most couples. Whether you’ve been together for decades wrestling with certain issues — or you're a new couple wanting tools to support lasting happiness — a retreat can well serve your goals and needs.

    A retreat is a powerful, supportive place to acquire new skills, to get unstuck, to resolve issues, to heal past wounds, reconnect, to deepen intimacy, and to learn how to prevent reactive cycles and downward spirals. You will learn how to operate as a securely functioning couple, who act, feel and communicate in ways that enable you to maximize shared pleasure and minimize distress or upset. All of us, both old and young, can benefit from knowing the language of lasting love.

    Here some typical kinds of couples I work with in retreats:

What if we are an unmarried couple?

Whether you are married or not does not matter. Couples are couples and relationships are relationships.

Do you offer pre-marital retreats?

Yes. That’s the perfect time to learn the powerful relationship tools I offer, to learn the language of lasting love and intimacy, and to discover how easy it is to prevent the typical reactive cycles and other mistakes that damage long term relationships.

What if we just need a “tune-up” or want to reconnect more deeply?

A retreat is great for that. It’s always easier to catch potential problems in your dynamic earlier than later. And we all can use the tools I offer in a retreat to deepen intimacy and know how to best operate as a couple so that you maximize shared pleasure and minimize distress.

What if we are on the brink of divorce or have been stuck for a long time?

Most of the time, I work with couples who are in trouble and suffer significant distress. Often they have been stuck in reactive cycles or built up walls for years, if not decades. See typical problems and issues that couples bring to my retreats to work through. For these cases, I strongly recommend a private retreat over a group retreat. And a 3-day or longer duration is best in order to transform a stuck dynamic, re-establish trust, hope and connection, and integrate the new tools into your lives.

What if we already filed for divorce, or did split up and are now considering getting back together?

A retreat gives you a place to heal the past wounds, really learn what went wrong (it’s never what you thought it was), reconnect more authentically, and find out how to operate differently if you do choose to get back together. As above, I recommend a private retreat of at least 3 days in duration.

Are there any couples you don’t recommend for a retreat?

If you suffer from any of the following three conditions, we need to discuss if a retreat could be helpful: physical abuse, substance addiction, or an ongoing current infidelity. In general, these are conditions that would be better to work with locally on a long term basis than in a short term retreat.


    What Results Can You Get?

    Your retreat is aligned to your personal goals and circumstances. Unlike one-size-fits-all approaches and religion-based marriage encounters, the retreat is tailored around your unique agenda — to meet your particular needs, wants and goals.

    A retreat typically gives you new clarity, and increased effectiveness in communication. It helps you move beyond stuck places, make new agreements, renew positive appreciation and connection, and develop a deeper sense of shared vision.


    In a retreat, you will acquire key tools and strategies to get your relationship moving in a positive direction, and to keep it growing positively once you return home.

    Relationship aspects normally covered in a retreat include the following:

  Change patterns that do not work. Learn why relationships get stuck, how couples polarize over differences, and why issues build up over time. Find out how your specific personality patterns interact, and clearly identify the key challenges and paths for positive growth in your relationship. Learn tools for what to say or do to avoid getting stuck, and to keep things on a positive track.
  Transform the core distress cycle. Learn about an unconscious pattern that erodes your ability to connect and be happy. It makes solving issues impossible, and leads to blaming, attacks, withdrawal or shutting down. See how this cycle is your mutual enemy, and get tools to exit its painful grip. Discover you can get your needs met, reconnect and share positive feelings together.
  Effective positive communication. Learn a set of key strategies that will prevent poor communication under any circumstances. Get proactive methods to communicate very well, even with difficult matters. You will gain tools that enable you to have your views heard, to make effective requests, to set healthy personal boundaries, to avoid emotional gridlock, and to truly resolve issues.
  Get tools to heal negative feelings. Emotions are at the root of relationship problems. Learn tools to resolve emotionally charged issues, to develop new choices, and to release old baggage. Gain tools for inner peace, self-confidence and healing. Learn to center yourself in any situation, to soothe your feelings, and to more easily support your partner to work with their feelings.
  Start collaborating instead of separating. See the big picture and get broader perspective on how to move forward. Establish a solid foundation that gives vital strength to your relationship, one which creates a sense of shared purpose, and helps you work through challenges. Make specific new agreements to support increased harmony and positive growth.
  Build trust and positive connection. Gain essential tools for being proactive in your relationship — with constructive behavior that increases trust, mutual understanding and satisfaction. Rediscover positive shared feelings that were buried behind unresolved issues or emotional walls. Learn strategies to strengthen appreciation and positive heartfelt connection on a daily basis.

    The work in the areas above, and the focus that is held in your retreat, will be tailored to match your personal styles and agendas.

    Each couple and each person is different. What works for one person does not work for another. That's why standardized approaches, found in normal therapy and group workshops, so often fail to produce results.

    This retreat is flexible and skilled enough to address the particular wants and needs of each person in terms of their own personality type.


    Your retreat is devoted to going into depth with regard to your goals and issues. And doing so in exactly the way that best supports you to succeed. Depending on your specific goals, you might acquire tools and strategies to achieve any of the following — or even more:

  Gain clarity and take positive action
  Increase positive feelings and satisfaction
  Turn problems into opportunities and solutions
  Communicate skillfully and effectively
  Change unsatisfactory interaction patterns
  Break impasses and get unstuck
  Gain new strategies to resolve differences
  Build trust and a strong foundation
  Handle charged issues without sinking into negativity
  Make effective requests and agreements
  Release and heal old emotional baggage
  Renew appreciation and affection
  Gain tools to soothe and heal upset feelings

    The above is a list of possibilities. Your retreat will be designed to go wherever you want to go, and to help you acquire the tools and strategies to make whatever breakthrough that would serve you, and move your relationship forward in a new, positive direction.

    Contact Us to discuss whether your specific goals and needs fit the work in a retreat.

  Back to Main Retreats Page See the Frequently Asked Questions

    What's a Retreat Like?

    Bottom line, it's about getting new tools and making positive changes.

    Many couples have bad experiences in traditional counseling or therapy, and worry that a retreat is going to be like that, only more intense. Not so....

     Couples often say how pleasant and valuable the retreat is — and how different it is compared to therapy in giving them useful results instead of drama.


    Before you get to the retreat, you will do a few hours of preparatory work at home. This includes clarifying your positive goals for coming to the retreat — what it is you really want to accomplish, what your highest hopes would be for the results you get. You will also take an online personality test, to see and better understand things about yourselves and each other. This will help us more quickly see specific remedies for you as a couple, based on your personality styles and the specific ways these styles interact. There is also an emotional attachment style online test, and a few pages for you to fill out.

    Once you arrive at the retreat, here is an overall picture of how a retreat progresses. A retreat can be thought of as a series of sessions, each one being about 3 hours in length. There are two sessions per day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, separated by a lunch break. Generally, we start around 10:30 AM and end between 5:30 and 6:30 PM. You will also have recommended work to do in the evening.

    A retreat starts by clarifying your goals and learning about your personalities, your particular style as a couple. It then moves on to giving you new tools, information and strategies, and coaching you to apply these tools to make positive changes. You will learn about the underlying dynamics are causing the real distress in your relationship and blocking your communication. And you will be given powerful tools to overcome these negative patterns. This process will give you new means to transform how you interact, opening you up for positive connection, understanding and the start of rebuilding trust.


Clarifying Goals and Getting to Know Your Personalities — A retreat starts by getting to know you. We all get comfortable together, as we explore your situation and clarify what you want to accomplish. You learn things you didn't know about your personalities. Each couple is different, based on personality styles. We see how this impacts you as a couple. There is no ideal pairing of personalities. But knowing which pairing you are helps us better understand the keys to what causes stress in your relationship, and how to remedy it. You have to see the box — to get out of the box. So our goal is to start to better see the way forward to new positive growth together for you as a couple.


Learning New Tools — A retreat is educational, You will learn new information, tools and strategies. You will gain tools to help you achieve your goals and resolve issues. You will get specific strategies that are relevant to your personalities, your particular situation and how you want to change it. You will learn to better see and work with the underlying dynamics or distress cycles that may have overtaken your relationship. We address what will improve your communication, heal difficult feelings, build a stronger, secure bond, and negotiate new agreements that will help you maintain progress on a positive new road.


Coaching for Positive Change — You will receive intensive coaching to apply the tools, information and strateiges to make positive changes. You will learn to resolve your issues, get out of the unconscious distress cycle or vicious cirlces that you suffer, and make positive changes you can feel. The style of coaching is unlike traditional therapy, which often only stirs up more unhappiness in a couple. John will coach you to discover positive ways to interact and resolve stuck places. Then, as a result of making tangible progress in your goals and solving issues, a retreat concludes with future planning. You will make agreements for using the tools you have learned, to continue your progress once you return home.


    A retreat is intensive but not overwhelming. The work we do together is highly meaningful, and will go toward resolving real issues that have blocked your sense of connection and happiness in the past.

    Many couples arrive wondering how they will spend so much time together, focused on their relationship — especially if previous efforts to do this in regular therapy have not yielded good results.

    It is a couple's enthusiasm that keeps the work going. Time seems to pass in a state of flow.


    It is a couple's growing interest in what they discover in the retreat — and the progress they are making — that motivates the length of time we spend together. And despite the intensity of the learning, there is still ample time to take stretch breaks and have long, relaxing lunches.

    Contact Us About a Retreat. We would like to talk to you before deciding to do a retreat. This intensive format works for most people, but it's not the best fit for everyone. We'd like to discuss it with you first, by email or phone.

  Back to Main Retreats Page See the Frequently Asked Questions

    How's This Different than Traditional Counseling?

    What you get in a retreat with John is markedly different than what traditional couples counseling provides. This is not merely due to the intensive retreat format. It is also a product of John's unique approach.

    John's work is deeply informed by ground-breaking scientific research on what couples need to form a secure, happy connection. This vital information has not yet made its way into typical couples therapy.


    A scientific background was a big part of John's initial education in psychology. For over a decade, he was a research psychologist. After receiving his Ph.D. at Stanford University, he went on to co-found and co-direct a prominent research center there. His research studies were funded by the National Science Foundation Department of Psychobiology. Given this background, he has closely followed two areas of research that objectively reveal what underlies distress in relationships — and more clearly than ever show what couples truly need to build a happy, mutually satisfying, intimate partnership.

    One area is current brain science and the neurobiology of emotional reactivity. This reveals critical information about how primitive parts of our brain, wired for surivival, will hijack our higher brains — taking couples into states of fight, flight or freeze — where partners ultimately blow up or shut down, and productive, loving communication becomes impossible. The other important area is what scientists call "attachment" theory. The last decade of scientific research in this area makes clear the factors that are needed to build healthy emotional bonding in couples, where you share a deep sense of secure connection, well-being, mutual positive regard, love and happiness.

    John has accumulated extensive experience in applying this information to create practical tools that help couples transform their relationship into a secure and satisfying intimate partnership. Trained in a wide range of state-of-the-art tools to resolve emotional blocks, heal old wounds and inner triggers, overcome insecurities and traumas, John helps couples do this healing with each other. Traditional therapy has overlooked the enormous positive power couples have to self-heal their own blocks and reactive cycles.

    As a coach, John is dedicated to giving you the tools you need to get beyond reactive patterns that keep a relationship stuck in negative feelings. His coaching utilizes the most recent findings in research on what increases couples satisfaction and decreases reactivity. He gives you tools to successfully work out issues together as a team — and communicate in ways that help you feel more connected, accepted and valued by one another. In scientific terms, this is technically called "secure attachment." But you don't have to have a scientific background to benefit from the practical tools you will learn to turn an insecure, reactive pattern of relating into a secure, happy connection.

    The typical view found in most counseling is still missing this vital information. Traditional therapy is just beginning to notice the significance of findings from neurobiology and attachment research, and has not yet fully put this information to practical use in helping couples. This critical information are just beginning to show up in a few educational systems and training programs for therapists.

    In general, the assumptions that have guided the field of couples counseling for the last 40 years have not helped lower the divorce rate — suggesting the inadequacy of the traditional approach. Statistics actually indicate that many therapists tend to split couples up — because they lack specific training to support couples to overcome core reactivity and help them to build a happy, secure bond. The latter is John's main focus in how he works with you. While a majority of therapists act as if they have to solve couples' problems, John gives you tools to help you solve your own problems, yourselves. Instead of trying to give you a fish, so to speak, his approach is to show you how to fish.


    The most obvious difference between the old model of counseling and how John works is his intensive retreat format, which provides ample time, space and safety to discover what is at the root of your stuck places as a couple — and learn tools to get unstuck.

    The tools you get in a retreat are also quite different. John helps you transform what is missed by typical counseling. He coaches you to get to the root of and heal the reactivity and negative cycles you fall into. The latter is what triggers couples into states of fight, flight or freeze in their nervous systems — and makes solution-oriented communication impossible.


    New, more powerful approaches for healing triggers, unresolved upsets, and reactive communication patterns have been developed from the findings of brain science, neurobiology, and studies on attachment and bonding. These are what you will receive in working with John. The traditional view of seeing couples in terms of power struggles and the need for conflict management misses giving partners what they really need. They need effective tools that are simple and practical to use, that work fast and get results.

    John's work is focused on the tools that enable you to successfully work as a team to heal triggers and reactive patterns, and resolve your issues. Due to shortcomings in the traditional view, counselors typically miss helping a couple repair underlying negative cycles that keep them reacting in an insecure mode of connecting — what scientists call "insecure attachment." Unless a couple has the tools to shift into a secure mode of relating, they will continue to suffer from underlying feelings like a sense of unfairness or injustice, not feeling good enough, not feeling cared about, feeling trapped, or feeling alone and disconnected.

    John's approach is to coach a couple to successfully work together as a "team-of-two" to build a secure connection. The goal is to communicate well and increase mutual happiness. His teaches you the tools to decrease triggering, insecurity, stuckness and reactivity. The point is to minimize stress or upset within the team, so you can maximize shared good feelings. The aim is to become a secure team-of-two, where you each feel fully accepted, valued, connected, and happy in your intimate partnership.

    Contact Us About a Retreat. We would like to talk to you before deciding to do a retreat. This intensive format works for most people, but it's not the best fit for everyone. We'd like to discuss it with you first, by email or phone.

  Back to Main Retreats Page See the Frequently Asked Questions

    Are Certain Beliefs Involved?

    A frequently asked question is whether the retreat is based in any religious sets of beliefs that pertain to love, relationship or marriage. It is not.

    Some couples have reported about certain religious approaches where it was attempted to "guilt" them into staying together.

    It is highly unlikely such a tactic could stand the test of time. Real change needs to happen.


    To stay together, couples need to be happy together. You can only get there by using new, effective tools to communicate in a way that creates positive closeness. Only that will change things for the better.

    Is this retreat based in religious beliefs? No. This is not a marriage encounter. It is not based on pop psychology or the latest popular ideas of celebrity authors. What you will get is strictly based in practicality. It comes from a synthesis of over two decades of working with couples, seeing what works and what does not work — as well as what a broad spectrum of scientific research has found over the last 20 years in looking at couples and what is really going on when they succeed or fail. You will learn useful, practical tools. And you will get results-oriented coaching to apply these tools to make positive changes in your relationship and resolve the issues that seem to divide you.

    Here are the explicit beliefs and principles of this retreat:

  Everyone can build a rewarding and satisfying relationship.
This is true regardless of past history or current circumstances.
  Being successful requires certain strategies and tools. These can be acquired. You can learn how to succeed.
  We each need to learn these key strategies as adults. Most of us don't acquire them growing up, thus our high rate of divorce.
  Relationship problems are important opportunities in disguise. They tell us it is time to learn the right tools to succeed.

    The basic belief is this: Seen in a positive light, relationship problems — as unwanted as they are — are what will ultimately push each of us to grow as individuals to learn to communicate better.

    The problems we come up against, in our meaningful relationships, ultimately move us to learn new strategies and tools — ones which will lead us back to the shared happiness we want with our partner.

    The bottom line is simply this: You can change things for the better. It's a matter of learning the right tools.


    You can develop within yourself all the resources you need to get the positive changes you want in your relationship. This retreat is designed to help you do that.

    Contact Us About a Retreat. We would like to talk to you before deciding to do a retreat. This intensive format works for most people, but it's not the best fit for everyone. We'd like to discuss it with you first, by email or phone.

  Back to Main Retreats Page See the Frequently Asked Questions

    Reviews by Experts

    Comments on the relationship tools John has created and written about, as well as on the coaching services he provides to couples:

    "Powerful tools to expand joy and happiness. Discover new options that will make a positive difference in your relationship."
John Gray, Ph.D., Author of the Best Seller
    Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus


    "John is a phenomenal couples coach, among the best I've encountered. He offers state-of-the-art tools and understandings to couples in distress. He knows how to help couples move their relationship onto a solid foundation, into a real intimate partnership."
Susan Campbell, Ph.D., Couples Therapist, Author of Getting Real and The Couples Journey

    "A thoughtful, inspiring guidebook for the qualities and stages necessary for fulfilling, growth-filled relationships."
Angeles Arrien, Ph.D., Author of The Four Fold Way

    "A friendly source of guidance and wisdom, to help you have the kind of relationship you truly want."
John Welwood, Ph.D., Couples Therapist, Author of Journey of the Heart and Love and Awakening

    "John possesses exceptionally unique skills for moving people through difficult and sensitive topics and situations with both competence and empathy, yet with strength and conviction."
Diane R. Ludgate, Ph.D., Psychologist / Corporate Trainer

    "John offers us the most powerful strategies in relationship psychology today. The tools he offers are simple to understand, and easy to use."
Ken Crittenden, Ph.D., Psychologist


    "John is a superbly skilled, wise and authentic relationship coach, and the framework he uses is magnificently suited to genuine transformation. "
Deborah Boyar, Ph.D., Therapist and Workshop Leader

    "How to create a great relationship. Simple to understand and it lays out what you need to do step by step. And it works!"
Timothy JohnPress, Corporate Coach

    "John takes us beyond myths of soulmates, and shows us how couples can truly succeed together."
Andrew Sears, Ph.D., Psychotherapist

Contact Us
Click the button above to
inquire or ask questions
about a couples retreat

    "John offers a powerful combination of healing wisdom and compassion to guide a couple in crisis to a secure and sustainable rebirth in their relationship. He will safely hold both of you, through even your deepest pain or fears, so that you can trust your self to open your hearts to each other in ways you didn't even know exist within and between you."
Carista Luminare, Ph.D., Counselor and Leadership Consultant

    "John reveals the workings of authentic real-world soulmates. There's no fluff. Just the inside story of what it takes to have the relationship of your dreams."
Dawn Monnet, Educator, Coach and Motivational Speaker

    "Clear direction for how to go about the mysterious thing we call relationship."
Lisa Berg, Business Coach

  Back to Main Retreats Page See the Frequently Asked Questions

    Feedback from Clients

    "You saved our relationship. We really couldn't have done it without you. We were going down into a deep hole. We were stuck and could not have come through it without your help. As far as we are concerned, you saved the relationship. So much so, that we've been giving your book as wedding presents. And if we could afford it, we would give your retreat to all couples we love. Your work is invaluable."
O and S, Mediator / Lawyer

    "We were truely at a crossroad in our marriage. You gave us the tools we needed to communicate effectively, to have an understanding and appreciation for each others thoughts, personalities and needs. Through using these tools we have been able to heal old wounds and begin laying the foundation for a new, strong and healthy marriage. The knowledge you gave us is beyond words. Not only have we begun to understand our individual underlying fears and desires (and how to communicate them with each other), we are very excited to start applying this information to the way in which we communicate with and nurture our children."
— B and A, Executive / Sales Rep


    "I don’t know how to begin to thank you for all you did for my partner and me, and for our relationship. We came to you seeking help and understanding, and what we left with was far beyond our highest expectations. You possess exceptionally unique skills for moving people through difficult and sensitive topics and situations with both competence and empathy, yet with strength and conviction. Your love for your work emanates through you."
D and S, Psychologist / Executive
    (Read the full letter)

    "Thank you so much for giving us so many tools to improve our relationship. When we came to you we were in a stalemate. It seemed that there was no way to communicate. We got preoccupied by being busy and we didn't even make time to try anymore. After the weekend with you, we did not only learn to open up communication again. We found ourselves sharing a whole new honeymoon all over again!"
J and V, Medical Administrator / Doctor

    "Our retreat was utterly extraordinary, simply magnificent. John is a superbly skilled, wise, authentic, supportive guide. His program is magnificently suited to genuine transformation. The shifts we experienced, the understanding that emerged, and the capacities that we steadily and rapidly built, all went far beyond our wildest expectations of what could happen between two severely wounded, alienated people in two days. What did happen was an undeniable breakthrough. It was facilitated by John's incomparable presence, knowledge, ability to tune in to each of us and support us to bring forward our best. The intensive format worked amazingly well at safely revealing and healing toxic patterns. The tools we were given are priceless, elegant, simple, and they really work. The schedule, the homework, the containment, the safety, and the setting were all so supportive each step along the way. Our hearts are again open to each other; it feels like a miracle, but it's very grounded and real. I feel as if I've found my dearest friend again, still alive and breathing, and still in love with me, thank God. Moreover, I also regained access to my own sense of wholeness. I have opened up in ways I've been yearning for. This retreat has been a total blessing on every level. Thank you."
D and T, Therapist / Coach


    "The retreat opened doors for us to renew the spark. We had grown complacent. We are now growing more happy and passionate with each day. The same outside stresses are still there in our lives, children and work. But the tools you gave us help us to check in with each other on a daily basis, in ways that open our hearts to each other and refresh our love for each other. Thank you so much for this gift!"
J and R, Architect / Consultant

    "We were stuck in a place where we fought over stupid things. I felt so resentful that intimacy had long ago stopped. We could be civil, but we felt the happiness we used to have was lost. Your retreat helped us move through some big blocks, understand new things, and heal the issues we couldn't even talk about. I discovered things about him I didn't know even after a decade of marriage! Deep, wonderful things. It's like I found the great guy I originally met, only more so."
L and R, Mother / Hall of Fame Athlete

    "We did not know what to expect at your retreat, whether it would be ineffective like counseling had been, or overbearing like on TV talk shows. What we found was compassionate, authentic and supportive, a coach that could mentor us in new tools and show us ways out of the box we were stuck in. It was like a visit with the wise friend we always wish we had, who could help us through our rough spots back to the love we originally shared."
D and M, Executive / Nurse

    "Your retreat greatly improved our marriage. We were anxious when we got there. But we quickly became comfortable in your presence. You showed us how to resolve issues which had been threatening our stability as a couple. You taught us tools we have continued to use over the year since our retreat with you. This has helped us increase our happiness, and kept us from falling back into old traps. We are very grateful."
A and C, Construction Engineer / Educator

    "I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the great help you offered us. We felt like we were on a real honeymoon, after we left our retreat with you. And we feel still blissfuly happy, being able to connect in different ways, with still many things to explore. Somehow I still feel as if a miracle had happened in a big way with you as a wonderful and dedicated guide. Once again I want to express my deep gratitude for your fantastic help! Amazing things you taught us, and so many helpful tools. We are in an unbelievable different mood. No longer bickering or fighting! Instead we experience enjoyment, happiness and thankfulness for the deep connection and love we found again."
H and C, Director / Musician

    "We greatly appreciate all your work with us in our retreat with you. We both learned a great deal. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted now that I don't have a secret sadness/loneliness. I also now know that my partner really cares. You have a great gift - thank you for all your work with us. You helped us to really understand ourselves and each other - and to put value in our connection and relationship. "
G and L, Entrepeneur / Mother

    "The retreat was a great two days, with excellent organization and materials. The weekend is a turning point in our relationship. It will be remembered as the place we got the tools to move into a loving and nurturing relationship. And given where we were when we got there, I'd say this... Even if a partner thinks they might not want to go to a couples retreat, how could you possibly go wrong in going?"
J and K, Sales / Real Estate

  Back to Main Retreats Page See the Frequently Asked Questions
Contact Us
Click the button above to to discuss a couples retreat.
©2011 John Grey  •  Relationship Blog  •  Site Map  •  Policies  •  Relationship Quiz  •  Online Book Store  •  Contact Us
Couples Retreats  •  Marriage Retreats  •  Relationship Retreats  •  Improve or Save Your Relationship  •  Relationship Advice
Relationship Coaching  •  Couples Coaching  •  Improve or Save Your Marriage  •  Soulmate Oracle  •  Love Advice
Couples Intensive  •  Marriage Intensive  •  Relationship Intensive  •  Online Articles  •  Piano Music