This website was created by John Grey, Ph.D. — with the intention of giving you with insights and new tools to support your happiness in love. For over 25 years, John has provided effective and practical coaching to help people succeed in having healthy, joyful, rewarding relationships.

    John offers you relationship coaching in person and by phone. He has also developed a uniquely powerful and intensive couples retreat that can transform a relationship and help it back onto a solid path of positive growth.

    Contact us by clicking here.

Background

    John Grey, Ph.D. is a relationship coach, workshop leader and author. He received his Doctorate in Psychology in 1975 from Stanford, where he taught and codirected a National Science Foundation sponsored research center. His research papers in psychology have been published in major scientific and professional journals, and are widely quoted in college textbooks. He has extensive training in cognitive and behavioral psychologies aimed at short term treatment and goal-directed coaching that achieves specific results. He has broad training in psychology of personality structure and the Enneagram (over a decade of training with Helen Palmer), and how to overcome relationship issues caused by differences in personal styles. He is also trained in somatic psychology, trauma resolution and Somatic Experiencing (the work of Peter Levine, Ph.D.).

    John has been in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area since 1980. He has presented workshops in communication and relationship skills at the Esalen Institute, the University of California Berkeley, Stanford University, and the Scripps Institute in La Jolla. He worked with John Grinder, Ph.D., teacher of Tony Robbins and the key developer of Neurolinguistic Programming, or NLP. He has given professional trainings for therapists and medical personnel in communication techniques and advanced tools for improving relationships and personal growth. He was on Dr. John Gray's (author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus) referral list of counselors.

    John offers practical, effective help for people to have successful relationships. He has written books and created an interactive online relationship self-help system that has been used by nearly a million people. His advice and writings on relationship success are featured on the world's largest womens internet site, iVillage.com. He has been featured on radio, TV and in newspapers throughout the San Francisco Bay Area.

    Read more details about John's background...

Approach to Working with Couples

    John works in a highly supportive way, respecting and responding to each person's individual needs. This enables couples to make rapid progress in achieving their goals. Each of us is different, and each couple is different. Working with you is customized to match your specific needs and your particular styles — so you can get deep, personally meaningful help.

    Over a 25-year span of helping couples, John has mastered a broad repertoire of coaching and counseling techniques, which allows him to flexibly address your specific wants and needs. He has learned how to understand and effectively work with very different personality types — and to appreciate how each couple is a unique combination of two personal styles.

    John has trained therapists in effective communication and change techniques that address the needs of each individual, including NeuroLinguistic Programming (NLP). As a workshop leader, he has presented relationship skills programs at the University of California, Stanford University, Scripps Medical Center and the Esalen Institute in Big Sur.

    Being a former Stanford research psychologist, he keeps abreast of and integrates current studies on relationship satisfaction into his work with couples. He also follows the latest research in brain science, neurobiology, and attachment styles — fields that have enormous relevance in understanding emotion and in knowing the true underlying factors in relationship dynamics and what causes success or failure.

    And, John has authored several relationship books, including an interactive self-help system. Please explore these materials on this website.

    John has a reputation for his versatility, skill and effectiveness. In working with him, you know that you are getting effective coaching. He is often sought out by psychologists and other helping professionals, who come to him for help in their personal relationships.

    John's unique approach, combined with a broad experience and background, gives you a powerful opportunity to make a fundamental breakthrough in your relationship. Here are a few distinguishing aspects of his style of work.

		Get Tools, Not Just Talk — Couples wanting a change don't need therapy. They need an education and new tools. Come and learn a powerful assortment of tools to make positive changes. Get results-oriented, versatile, effective coaching. And take home new tools to stay on a positive track.
		A Different Approach — Having trained hundreds of therapists in advanced communication tools, John knows how normal therapy is often ineffective in helping couples. The retreat offers you a major qualitative difference in ways to resolve issues in a productive way. The range and effectiveness of the tools you will get is vastly broader than the standard counseling fare.
		Practical Results, Not Just Theory — Before becoming a relationship coach, John was a research psychologist at Stanford University. He knows the difference between practical results vs. someone's personal theory. What you get is validated by current scientific findings in psychology and neurobiology.

Reviews by Experts

    Comments on the relationship tools John has created and written about:

    "Powerful tools to expand joy and happiness. Discover new options that will make a
positive difference in your relationship."
— John Gray, Ph.D., Author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

    "A thoughtful, inspiring guidebook for the qualities and stages necessary for fulfilling,
growth-filled relationships."
— Angeles Arrien, Ph.D., Author of The Four Fold Way

    "A friendly source of guidance and wisdom, to help you have the kind of relationship
you truly want."
— John Welwood, Ph.D., Author of Journey of the Heart

    "John takes us beyond myths of soulmates, and shows us how couples can truly succeed together."
— Andrew Sears, Ph.D., Psychotherapist

    "Clear direction for how to go about the mysterious thing we call relationship."
— Lisa Berg, Business Coach

    "John offers us the most powerful strategies in relationship psychology today. They are simple to understand, and easy to use."
— Ken Crittenden, Ph.D., Psychologist

    "John reveals the workings of authentic real-world soulmates. There's no fluff. Just the inside story of what it takes to have the relationship of your dreams."
— Dawn Monnet, Educator, Coach and Motivational Speaker

    "How to create a great relationship. Simple to understand and it lays out what you need to do step by step. And it works!"
— Timothy JohnPress, Corporate Coach and Trainer

    "John possesses exceptionally unique skills for moving people through difficult and sensitive topics and situations with both competence and empathy, yet with strength and conviction."
— Diane R. Ludgate, Ph.D., Psychologist and Corporate Trainer

Feedback from Our Clients

    "After years of crises, you helped save our marriage. We now have a great connection, a
deeply shared vision, better communication, and we spend more time being happy and enjoying
life together."
— G and J, Builder / Teacher

    "You helped us out of a stuck place that almost split us up. We now feel a healthy, strong connection and great joy with each other."
— J and L, Executive / Manager

    "We learned to go beyond being defensive, and have rediscovered the love we shared in the
first place."
— M and V, Producer / Sales Rep

    "You helped us solve a huge backlog of unresolved issues. We learned to communicate better, and we now spend more time being happy with each other and enjoying life together."
— R and S, Doctors

    "Our relationship has been brought up to a whole new level. It truly is amazing to see how much we have both changed and how we have moved beyond our old patterns. Now there is so much more appreciation and happiness."
— L and J, Consultant / CEO

    "You showed us how to resolve major issues which had been threatening our stability as a couple for quite some time. This has helped us increase our happiness, and kept us from falling back into old traps. We are very grateful."
— A and C, Constuction Engineer / Educator

    "You saved our relationship. We were headed toward a deep hole. We were very stuck and could not have come through it without your help. As far as we are concerned, you saved the relationship. Your work is invaluable."
— O and S, Mediator / Lawyer

    "We had grown complacent. We are now growing more happy and passionate with each day. The same stresses are still there in our lives, children and work. But the tools you gave us help us to... refresh our love for each other."
— J and R, Architect / Consultant

    "I don’t know how to begin to thank you for all you did for my partner and me and our relationship. We came to you seeking help and understanding, and what we left with was far beyond our highest expectations. You possess exceptionally unique skills for moving people through difficult and sensitive topics and situations with both competence and empathy, yet with strength and conviction."
— Diane L., Psychologist and Corporate Trainer

    "Thank you so much for giving us so many tools to improve our relationship. When we came to you we were in a stalemate. It seemed that there was no way to communicate. We got preoccupied by being busy and we didn't even make time to try anymore. After the weekend with you, we did not only learn to open up communication again. We found ourselves sharing a whole new honeymoon all over again!"
— J and V, Medical Administrator / Doctor

    "We were stuck in a place where we fought over stupid things. I felt so resentful that intimacy had long ago stopped. We could be civil, but we felt the happiness we used to have was lost. Your retreat helped us move through some big blocks, understand new things, and heal the issues we couldn't even talk about. I discovered things about him I didn't know even after a decade of marriage! Deep, wonderful things. It's like I found the great guy I originally met, only more so."
— L and R, Mother / Athlete

    "We did not know what to expect at your retreat, whether it would be ineffective like counseling had been, or overbearing like on TV talk shows. What we found was compassionate, authentic and supportive, a coach that could mentor us in new tools and show us ways out of the box we were stuck in. It was like a visit with the wise friend we always wish we had, who could help us through our rough spots back to the love we originally shared."
— D and M, Executive / Nurse

    "You assisted me to figure out what I really wanted in my relationship. You then helped me get more skilled in communicating to my partner so that she responded in ways I had previously only hoped for. These tools have also helped me communicate more effectively at work, too."
— Jim F., Portland

    "I started talking with you about frustrations in my love life... and you helped me see and change the patterns I had been playing out... so that I now can share the kind of joyous love I truly want with a woman."
— Michael W., Silicon Valley

    "You helped me through the end of a destructive relationship... and afterwards learn from it, so that I could find the love I really wanted. I'm now in a great relationship... one that I used to dream about..."
— Richard S., New York

    "I started working with you when I was going through a painful divorce. You helped me grow from that experience, so much so that I was able to go on to find a truly rewarding relationship... which eventually turned into a great marriage!"
— Nick R., San Francisco

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